so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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