the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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