But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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