I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
