3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
