Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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