how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
