Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
