OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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