it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
