Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He? As in you personified your dick?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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