They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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