this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
