Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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