Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
