Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
