a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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