i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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