my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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