i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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