Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
