I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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