pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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