I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
