you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
