i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
