Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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