I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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