Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
