You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
