Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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