What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
two words: eviction party
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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