508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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