Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
