Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
