i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
