did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
