why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
