It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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