: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
