i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
