Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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