Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
