There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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