afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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