And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
