Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
