She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Rumble strips road head = magical
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
