and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
