The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
